When Liam moved to Manchester from south Wales in 2017, he thought he was doing it for lasting love. Dating his girlfriend long distance for over a year, he found a job as a prison officer and moved north to be with her. But after a year he found himself single again and hasn’t managed to date anyone seriously since. He desperately wants a committed, long-term relationship, but is struggling to make it past consistent hook-ups.
When Holly’s relationship fell apart a few months ago, she left London after 13 years of living there, moving with her brand-new dachshund puppy to her hometown of Hastings. But trying to date other women in Hastings has proved less than fruitful.
Dan’s life in London has been pretty good. A graphic designer, just finishing his masters at UCL, he’s got most of it figured out. But at 29, he’s realised that the gay clubbing scene is making it more difficult to meet romantic partners with whom he really connects and is struggling to find someone to date for more than a couple months.
While all three of these people are in vastly situations, one thing unites them: they all absolutely despise their online dating profiles. From Tinder to Bumble to Her to Hinge, they feel cringed-out, awkward and unfulfilled by how they present themselves and feel their dating profile is holding them back.
This is a major problem for online daters. You can be charming, funny and genuinely interesting, but when it comes to writing a bio your mind can go blank. It’s hard to make profiles read the same (see: “I love gin!”, “My pet peeve is slow walkers”) and it’s hard to make your real self stand out. In the US, dating profile styling agencies are even starting to pop up, where people can pay to have this increasingly common dating problem professionally solved. But for those who don’t have hundreds to shell out on professional advice, the question still persists: what do you need to do to make your dating profile better?
Liam, Dan and Holly have gotten this question answered. Working with three romantic professionals – a relationships therapist, a dating expert and a professional advertising creative – they have willingly handed over their profiles, histories, and insecurities to be molded into a more authentic version of themselves and get desperately needed advice on how to make their dating profile dateable.
The angelreturn basics: 28 years old, Welsh, straight, prison officer. Describes himself as a regular guy, interested in sport, going out with his friends, spending time with his family and looking after his dog, Jasper.
Dating history: Has had three serious relationships and says that all of them petered out at the same time – around the two-year mark.
Dating profile description: Mostly selfies, mostly taken in dark rooms, one topless, mostly bordering on scary faces. Bio reads, “I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing / Beards make the world go round / Never watched Game Of Thrones, which is apparently a huge deal? / Welsh boy trespassing in the North, tryna not get kicked out after Brexit. ”
How to create the perfect Tinder profile
Dating problems: Liam’s problem is two-fold. Although his job as a prisoner officer is interesting, it’s not something that defines him – however, it’s the only thing on dating apps that women seem to be interested in talking about. His second problem is that, when he does meet people, there’s miscommunication about what each other wants and he ends up thinking it’s becoming serious when all she wants is something casual.